The Many Layers of Grief

Grief is a profound and multifaceted experience that touches us all in different ways. It’s hard to imagine the pain of a parent who has lost their child, yet here I am, feeling an immense heaviness in my chest, weighed down by the sadness of such a tragedy. My head is cloudy, my thoughts are disjointed, and despite my exhaustion, sleep eludes me. I feel like crying but my eyes have no more tears left to shed. Though I am grateful it wasn't my child, my heart feels heavy with severe sadness for my friends who lost their children—a mother's worst nightmare. 

Why does death have so many layers? What are we here to learn from the deep sadness that accompanies it? I find myself grappling with anger. But who am I angry at? Why do I feel this way? Despite wanting to embrace every moment with the people I love.  I often find my mind roaming off somewhere in the distance but not feeling present and lacking focus. In this turmoil,  I am at a loss for words, unable to make sense of my feelings. My body feels tender, and my heart aches.

During moments of deep sadness and grief, we must remember to treat ourselves and the ones we love gently. With time the heart begins to heal. The tragedy becomes less intense. We continue to honor the lives we lost by savoring the beautiful memories and feeling gratitude for the time shared with them. 

Years ago, I received a phone call that a dear friend of mine had died because of a drunk driver. She was only 27 years old and had a 2-year-old little boy. She was just beginning to experience life. I remember not knowing what to do with my emotions, so I went out for a run. It was a beautiful summer morning—warm but not too hot, and cool enough for a long run. I needed the time to clear my mind and try to make sense of why God would take such a beautiful soul from this world so soon. At the time, going out for a run was my favorite way to communicate with G.U.S—God, Universe, Spirit. I was so angry and frustrated that I screamed into the sky, "WHY? Why would you take Francine's life when there are so many others praying for their last breath? 

The most profound message came to me like a knowing deep in my heart. G.U.S said to me, "It’s not always for you to understand WHY,  it’s what you need to learn from the experience or situation.  Everything is in divine order, and one day, when you return to the spirit world, you will understand the greater picture. But for now, you are here to learn, grow, and evolve from every hurt, pain, and experience in life. Everyone gets something different, it’s up to you to figure out what you need to learn to bring peace to your heart for the greater good, despite the darkest moments. With every darkness, there is light. With every positive, there is a negative. It’s the yin and the yang, the light and the dark."

This message has stayed with me and continues to guide me in my journey as a holistic life coach, focusing on helping women heal their souls and fulfill their life purpose. I remind myself to give grace. Grief doesn’t look the same on me as it does on anyone else. We all handle loss differently. While we share many commonalities, our experiences are uniquely our own. One thing I do know is that we are all interconnected. With the support of one another as a community, we can navigate these hard times. When we weave together and unite, we become stronger, more compassionate, and more loving.

Life is not always meant for us to understand or make sense of, but how we react—with words, kindness, or a calm spirit—holds us together and strengthens us during life's most difficult moments. Reach out to a friend, a neighbor, or a member of your community to let them know you are thinking about them. In doing so, we support one another and find strength in our shared humanity.

If you are struggling with grief and looking for support or would like to talk to please email me at [email protected]